How Do You Know the One is . . . the One?

Hopefully you know that this is not a relationship blog and we don't pretend to know how you chose your mate. We just hope that you have chosen well. Enough said.
This blog is about knowing you've found the right wedding dress.

Everyone is Different.

There's your understatement of the day, but not every bride-to-be understands this concept or embraces it. There is only one you so expecting some universal bridal experience is not a good way to spend your limited planning time and energy. You should remember that you're celebrating YOUR DAY, YOUR LOVE STORY and how incredibly beautiful and unique it is.

So in that spirit, here are some myths that need debunking and some sage advice from our experts.

Myth #1: You know you've found your gown when you cry.
Um, no. This is not in some Bridal Book of Rules (on sale for $35 on Amazon...... kidding).
If you're an emotional person, sure - you might burst into tears. It's a big deal to start trying on gowns to find perhaps THE ONE you'll get married in. But sometimes the waterworks begin with the first dress you try on because you're seeing yourself as a bride for the first time. THAT is emotional. We notice at BT that sometimes this happens, but then a bride tries the next dress and the next and the next and the practical, logical part of their brain starts firing. It's important to remember that some will choose based on emotion and others based on practicals, but don't let tears be your guide.
Bottom line: The lack of tears or abundance of them doesn't mean the one you've found THE ONE.

Myth #2: there HAS to be a BECAUSE.
In other words, "this has to be my dress, because it's a fall wedding and will be cold and I need long sleeves." Or "this is the one, because my mom said she liked me in lace." Or, "I have to choose this one, because I did a bunch of research and it ticks 8 out of my 10 musts on my list." Maybe you can add a wrap to a strapless dress for your fall wedding. Maybe you'll try on a dress that doesn't have lace that both you and your mom love. Maybe you'll throw methodical out the window when you try on something we suggest for you to shake things up!!
Don't trap yourself in "BECAUSE!" Some brides find the one based on a specific reason, but if you corner yourself "because" you may miss out on a dress you never dreamed of.

Myth #3: the dress you've marked online, saved pictures of, carried around and shown to anyone who will listen, dreamed of yourself in and seen others looking amazing in IS YOUR DRESS.
Baby Girl: come sit next to Aunt Kelly and let me tell you that NO ONE will be more excited than I will be if that is true. I mean it. I'm the voice of reason, but I'm your cheerleader too. And sometimes this happens. You find it, fall in love, try it on and we're off to the chapel.

But I don't want your dreams shattered if it's not the case and we see it all the time. For whatever reason - the fit, the proportions, the fabric, the wedding theme, venue, whatever - it simply doesn't work. Deep down brides know it when this happens and at BT we know it too. We know body shapes, designer's specific cuts and just because it looks good on a number of models does not mean it is going to make you look and feel like the bride you want to be on your big day.

The team at BT can be your accountability partners as well as your cheerleaders and we promise to help you see alternatives when this happens. You need to give yourself permission to change your mind and we'll be right there by your side.

Myth #4: the dress will look on me the way it looks online, on models and in photos.
A dress on 10 different women will look 10 different ways. Trust us. We've seen this happen so many times and when you try it on and don't hear "The Love Theme" from Romeo and Juliet you may get disillusioned. Is this lovely girl in the photo below you? Then don't expect that gown to look like that on you. Again: give yourself not only room, but PERMISSION to be happily, joyfully surprised by another option, another style and the one that will become YOUR dress. If may not be what you thought, but you'll know. Nothing is more thrilling than when this happens.​

photo credit: Mihai Stephan Photography

Myth #5: the Bridal moments on TV are the way my experience will and SHOULD be. 
NOPE.
NOPE.
NO MA'AM.
As discussed in myth #1, you don't have to cry.
You don't have to argue with a family member.
You don't have to bring 6 frenemies.
You don't have to see a retractable roof on the boutique open up to allow doves to swoop down from the heavens and land on your shoulders like Snow White.
There probably isn't going to be an angel choir that suddenly appears to serenade you as you hug every person in the boutique who ever said something nice to you.

Sorry for the digression, but you get it. You know in your gut what will work for you. The TV version is a blast to watch, but it's rarely, if EVER, reenacted in wedding shops around the country.

Myth #6: You have to try on every gown in every shop within a 1000 mile radius before you'll know that yours is The Best One for You. 
Ladies: this breaks our hearts more than anything, because it's just a big lie you're telling yourselves. There is a point where you've tried on too many dresses, and you've lost the joy of finding your gown because your brain is muddled with details. 

Don't suck the life and joy out of what is supposed to be a joyous celebration. Being exhaustive is important in some arenas of life. Do your homework when choosing a school for your kids. Read Consumer Reports when making an enormous and expensive tech purchase, but when you find yourself running through gown after gown and forget that it's about a joyful milestone, and you end up just choosing something, then you've overdone it. We HATE seeing this happen.

Experts Note: Brides these days try on between 5 - 8 gowns and, on the high side 8 - 10 gowns before they know what will work and find the one. More than 10 dresses and most brides become frustrated and the magic is gone, baby, gone.

Rules to Remember

• If you're comparing every dress you try on to ONE dress, then that's probably your dress. It fits, you love it, it's within budget and there's no Second Place? Done. Buy it!
  
• Brides who've found The One feel happy and beautiful in the dress. We notice this with body language. Brides who've found their dress can't stop petting it, can't stop touching the fabric, moving in it to see all the angles and their faces change. Smiles are bigger. Eyes are brighter. 
  
• Remember that if you have a budget, and most brides do, you need to stay within it. Buy based on your heart, but don't bust the budget. It's a big day, but it's one day and there are other investments in your future. Trust us on this too. ​
  
• Remember that finding the right dress is a knowing. It's a feeling. It may be immediate, but if it's not, promise yourself that you'll give yourself room to fall in love with something unexpected.
  

​Everyone is different. You be you!!

photo credit: Pixabay