Wedding Dress Shopping - Etiquette

Lucky enough to be invited to go with your bride-to-be friend on her gown shopping ventures? Then you should keep a few of these bits of info in mind. You'll be so glad you did, and so will she. Gown shopping is an event, but friendship is for life!

The Bride is the Star

Despite the fact that she is going to be the center of attention on her day, she is still nervous. She is still making 90 decisions - or amendments to her wedding plan - every day. Your job is to let her shine. We always like to say "look beyond the dress to the person." Be that friend who may not like every style she tries on but is interested in whether or not she likes it. When she has emerged from the dressing room, read her energy and respond with friendship and support.

When a bride's companions shout out "NO!" before she's even had a chance to turn around and smile and tell you "I LOVE IT," you've killed her momentum and perhaps swayed her decision. Remember that it IS her decision. ​

Watch your Words

It sounds obvious, but remember that she is not the dress. If the cut or fit isn't flattering, don't say, "you look awful in that." Consider trying something like, "that has some great elements, but it's not allowing you to shine," or "it's hiding your best features." 
She's a person, not a mannequin, and if she's sensitive, she deserves support. We sometimes notice that the bride's companions treat this event as if they were watching a show on Bravo or E! where you can sit comfortably on a couch and criticize. This is not that! 
Avoid comments about her weight, about her fiancee's biases, or what isn't to your taste. If you are paying for the gown, and think you should get a vote, remember the bride's feelings and put them over your budget. Be present, be encouraging!

Be Guided by the Bride

What brides think they want and what they actually end up getting are not always the same. In fact, they often are not. Our consultants can sense this. If she thinks she wants a ball gown, but tries on several and doesn't like them, it's time to widen the style scope and maybe try another style.

If she has expressed that she doesn't want a mermaid shape, or doesn't care for belts or a cathedral veil, listen to her. Making suggestions based on what she has expressed is helpful, but let the bride and consultant guide the appointment. This isn't a play date; she's shopping for an important day, so respect her preferences as she mines the collections for the right gown.

Size is and is not Important

Ladies, listen up: wedding gowns are not sized the way regular dresses are. If a bride finds that dresses in the 12 and 16 range fit her, do not go pull dresses you like for her in a size 6 and hang them for her to try. You may have shopped with her for ages and think you know her body type, but the consultant will find the range and then work with her on style in those ranges. We have clips to pull in the back and ways of allowing the bride to see how she'll look without making her body conscious.

The same gown in a size 6 and size 22.

Let her say YES!

We might also call this section: DON'T RUIN IT. 
When a bride has found her gown and is ready to have her TV moment, the last thing she needs is Debbie Downer telling her that she can still shop around for other options or "sleep on it." If she is ready for the celebratory YES moment, zip it and cheer for her. 

Brides make so many decisions about their wedding, so making her second-guess everything, is not only rude, it's not friendship. She found the gown, she's ready to say yes - let her do it, get her photo taken, get her hugs and celebrate. She could conceivably sleep on it and still come back to buy it, but that moment is gone forever. 
And by the way, the New York Post wrote a story about how being a downer can take years off of your own life. So consider being supportive and take the win.

Helpful Bridal Shopping Tips for Companions

These last tips will honestly just allow you and your bride-to-be pal enjoy the shopping experience more.

• Eat before you shop. 
• Ask in advance about the group size limit, if alcohol is permissible, and how much time is allowed for her appointment.
• If possible, keep the party small. She is going to stand in front of you several times in a variety of gowns, and when she's surrounded by a mob (even if the mob loves her), that's too much attention, scrutiny, and unsolicited commentary. 
• Don't waste the bride's appointment time asking unnecessary questions because you are curious. Keep it about her.
• The bride may try on 5 gowns or 25 gowns. There is no magic number, so let her have her journey.  

We love this business and take pride in knowing what works. So if you are invited to participate, find your highest self, your most gracious attitude and wear those to her shopping appointment. Humility and support look great on everyone!